Randomness Blog

Let’s be honest, anything etched in stone is probably a little outdated. Not to mention, while we’ve rid society of many vices in the past few centuries (i.e. slavery), we could probably use more than a mere 10 to live by. Every man needs a code; these 20 items are non-negotiable.1. Standard casual golf rules should include one mulligan per 9 holes, not 18.2. Don’t borrow a friend’s roll-on deodorant. Electric razors are subject to personal boundaries.3. There are only a few activities worth waking up for prior to 7:30 AM. None of them require you to leave your house.4. The Happiest Meal on the McDonalds menu is actually the McSkillet Burrito. Unless you’re in the 7 and under age bracket, refrain from ordering a Happy Meal.5. If you don’t offer delivery food outside of a 3 mile radius, don’t put “Delivery” on your menu.6. Everything West of I-435 and within the Kansas border is completely irrelevant to mainstream America, but Kansas City is actually pretty sweet.7. NWO 4 Life.8. Rock, paper, scissors (2 out of 3) is grounds to circumvent any litigation, assuming all parties have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs.9. Books on tape are made for solo car trips. No exceptions.10. 5 extra gratuity (on top of standard tip) can be added for an attractive service industry worker, anything more is too bold.11. Don’t use more than one exclamation point per 10,000 words typed, and never use two consecutively. Nothing is that exciting.12. Walking briskly with scissors is perfectly fine.13. Any restaurant with an inspection code of 100.0 is sacrificing too much taste for cleanliness.14. “Seat back” expires after 15 minutes and is automatically forfeited if referred to as “fives.”15. The real speed limit is 9-over. Cruising at 10 is a calculated risk, thus reserves no right to whine.16. There is a or – 7 day window for celebrating your birthday. Anything outside of a week from the actual date should expect no free drinks or presents, but may still be liable for goodie bags.17. Babysitting is one step below court-ordered community service in terms of “job experience.”18. To determine if your partner is age appropriate, divide your real age by 2 and add 7.5 years (may be overridden by state law where applicable).19. “Cooking someone dinner” may primarily utilize the microwave, but must involve at least 1 additional kitchen apparatus, in some capacity.20. In order for your support of a college or professional sports team to be valid, either you or an immediate family member must have attended that school or spent 5 years living in the city in question.

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